Family isn’t always for a lifetime – Just because someone is a blood relative doesn’t mean you are going to love them or even like them. You don’t have to keep someone in your life, even when they are family that makes you unhappy or harms you in some way. Yes I believe we were all brought together to teach each other lessons, the lesson you might need to learn from your family is how to set strong boundaries and distance yourself when need be.
Friends are not forever – This one is a tough one. I like the adage, “Friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” People will go in and out of your life and that is a fact. The best thing to do is to enjoy them while they are there, love and treasure them, and when the time comes bless them on their way. For the few that do stay a lifetime let them know how much you appreciate them.
Insight Number 7
Lie as little as possible – The thing I know to be true is everyone, that includes you, lies. As much as possible tell the truth. Yes it is sometimes difficult and unpleasant and actually can get you in trouble, however in the long run it simply is the best policy. Yes “The truth will set you free” and it can also make you miserable at times!
Insight Number 6
You will love again – I have had my heart broke more times than I care to count. Lovers, friends and family have all taken a whack at my heart, some have just cracked it and some have shattered it. Love does hurt and you will heal and you will love again. One of the saddest things I have ever heard came from a friend who said she had never had her heart broken. If you have never had your heart broken you have never loved – and that is sad.
There is a great need for improved authenticity in our society.
• From 1997 to 2003 the number of youth under the age of 18 who engaged in plastic surgery increased by 375%.
• AIG executives received multi-million dollar bonuses at a time when the country is experiencing a major recession.
• Detroit auto executives took private jets to Washington DC to beg for money for their failing corporations.
• On Christmas Day 2008 the Pope suggested we adopt a “spirit of authentic solidarity”.
These are the reasons that Norma T. Hollis has initiated an Authenticity Movement® to create greater authenticity in our world.
• Imagine a world where you are clear on your purpose and who you are meant to be.
• Imagine a world where children are raised with knowledge and development of the natural gifts and talents they were born with.
• Imagine a world where people have genuine care and concern about each other and conduct themselves with a respect for the common good.
Join me on Live the Day Monday December 14th at 3pm MT as I talk with Norma Hollis on the 10 Steps to Authenticity. You can join the movement Norma has started by learning how to live a more authentic life, starting right now.
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Being Less than Jolly During the Holiday Season
1. Make a plan and stick with it.
Write down on your calendar what needs to be done and by when. This will
keep you on track, as things become increasingly hectic.
2. Having a Hallmark Christmas would be wonderful, but let’s be realistic.
More than likely not everything is going to turn out to be just the way you planned. Don’t try to make everything perfect. Do the best you can, and let the rest go.
3. Not everything has to be homemade.
In today’s world, some of the best goodies and treats can be found in your
supermarket. Decide which two or three cookies and candies you will make.
Select one day or evening to bake and make, box or freeze the goodies, and
call it done.
4. Make a budget and stick with it.
If you are one of those organized savers that opens a Holiday Club account at your local bank, all you have to do is go to the bank and pick up your money. If you are like the rest of us, decide how much you can take out of your current budget. If you plan on using credit cards, decide how much you will charge, and keep track. Remember that you do have to pay them back beginning in January.
5. Homemade cards are wonderful, but do you really have time?
Unless you began making your cards in June, forget it. Buying them will be
just fine. Including a handwritten note in each one is a nice touch; however, unless you started six months ago, let it go. I know many people disdain those form holiday letters, but they are better than receiving a card that is simply signed Don and Diane. Since holiday cards are the only time we hear from some people, including a holiday letter helps us keep in touch with our once-a-year friends.
6. You do not have to attend every holiday event.
Limit the number of holiday events you will attend. You simply don’t have the
time to go to every single party, tree decorating event, and craft show that will be happening during this busy time of the year. Decide what you want to
attend, RSVP in advance, and enjoy.
7. If you are hosting a party or holiday dinner, don’t try to cook it all.
If you are hosting a holiday event, consider having some, if not all, of it
catered. If that isn’t in the budget this year, ask the guest to bring their
favorite dish to share. This way you will only have to provide some of the
food and will have the time and energy to enjoy your guest.
8. Ask for help.
You don’t have to do everything. Get the family involved. Everything is more fun when done with others. Get help decorating the tree, baking the goodies, and addressing the cards.
9. Don’t forget to take care of yourself.
The holidays are not the time to abandon your routine. Keep going to the gym, eating healthy foods, and taking time to relax. The holidays can be stressful and keeping up with our self-care will help to reduce the stress and allow us to enjoy the season.
10. Remember what the holidays are all about.
Beyond the gifts and glitter, this holiday is really about connecting with friends and family, and celebrating the love we have in our lives. Keep in mind what is important about this time of year. Celebrate the important things and relax in the joy of the season.
Pets can be our greatest teachers – I was never an animal person. I had a dog as a child and I loved him but I shared him with my entire family. I didn’t have another pet until I was 35 and decided I needed a little something to take care of. I knew it wasn’t a baby, but something small and needy. I got a puppy and thought I would be the one to teach him what he needed to know. It was the other way around. Muffasssa became my greatest teacher. He made my life better and taught me to be a nicer, kinder person. The day he died is still one of the saddest days of my life. I miss him every day. One of my favorite quotes is by Roger Caras, “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”
I truly believe that so much can be avoided if, before taking action, a person would stop and think. I have, also, thought that, in the absence of the ability to think, one needs someone who will think for them; someone that would say, “Don’t do it.” I believe I could have saved Tiger Woods money, time and bad PR if I had had just five minutes to talk to him prior to his actions.
My best friend David and I have an agreement. When I get rich and famous, and I am about to do something stupid, he has my permission to say, “Don’t do it.” He also has my permission to tell me I am being stupid and that what I am about to do is a bad idea. I believe that many people surround themselves with “yes” people who are unwilling, or perhaps not even able, to tell the truth. Had I had five minutes with Tiger before he married, I would have told him, “Don’t do it.” I wouldn’t have been referring to the girlfriends, but to getting married. Unless he had an agreement to continue dating after getting married, marriage would not be a good idea. Continuing to date after the wedding without such an agreement is not without consequences, as Tiger is now finding out. The truth is all actions have consequences and one needs to stop and think those through before proceeding. In the event you cannot think, you need someone in your inner circle who can think for you and point out the mistake you are about to make.
One of the principles I teach in my ethics class is the Egoism Principle. In the simplest version, the principle determines the moral and ethical value of the decision based on the person’s long term best interest. In other words, the principle takes a look at the long term consequences and determines if a person should make a decision based on the outcome. Using this principle helps one determine, based on what could happen, if the decision is one that is in her or his best interest. Had I had a chance to speak with Tiger, I would have had him look five years out and see if he was indeed willing to live with the consequences his actions would cause. Whenever you are looking at a decision you have to ask yourself, “Am I willing to live with the consequences?”
There are a couple other pearls of wisdom I would have offered Tiger. First, don’t have an affair with someone who has less to lose than you. The one with more to lose will lose a lot, and the one with little to nothing to lose gains, like selling the tell-all about the relationship. Another thing is to know the difference between a mistake and a choice. A mistake happens once. A choice is repeated and the only regret is getting caught. The final words of wisdom: When it all comes to an end and everything is out in the open, don’t apologize, don’t try to explain and don’t make excuses. Take responsibility and leave it at that.
There are always consequences to every decision. There is no escaping that truth. Before you make a decision, stop and think it through. If you can’t think, have someone in your inner circle think for you and point out the consequences of what you are about to do. If you decide to go through with the decision at least you gave yourself an opportunity to take a different path, but you are prepared for the worst that can happen.
Today, make a pack with a close friend that, in the event you are about to do something that is not in your best interest, they have your permission to tell you so. This will save you tons of grief.
“You can’t talk your way out of what you’ve behaved yourself into.” Stephen Covey
“Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what a reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character.” Dr. Wayne Dyer
Are you willing to take responsibility and live with the consequence of your decision?
Black doesn’t make you look thinner – It is a false belief that black will make you look thin. You will just look fat in black. During one of my fat periods I walked into my closet and it struck me, “I could fully dress 10 women for a funeral.” I threw out my entire black garb and replaced it with a bright, festive and fun wardrobe. At any size you should enjoy and delight in life. No matter what your size wear outfits that flatter you and make you feel great. Unless you are in mourning, don’t wear all black all the time!