If you would like an opportunity to learn about the Enneagram you have a chance. My colleague Elizabeth Carrington-House is doing a workshop in Colorado Springs in April. It will be an excellent time to explore the concepts of the Enneagram and how to use it in your life.
Understanding and Applying the Enneagram
Wondering what “more alive” feels like?
Want a deeper experience of Presence?
The Enneagram provides a way of seeing where we “go to sleep on ourselves”
and reveals a transformative path for realizing our enormous gifts and True Nature.
Through this 2 day exploratory workshop:
* Understand the gifts, troublesome patterns, and challenges of Nine Personality Types.
* Deepen your experience of Presence and understand what gets in your way.
* Learn about the hidden beliefs and motivations that have shaped your life.
Saturday and Sunday, April 4-5, 2009
Cheyenne Canon Inn
Colorado Springs, CO
Email Diana at Diana.firstname.lastname@example.org or call 415-640-0805
For participating coaches, we are authorized
to provide 16 CCEUs through ICF.
Elizabeth Carrington-House, Master Certified Coach, is co-founder of Dolphin Leadership, Inc. an executive coaching/training company and founder of the North Bay Coaches Alliance. She is passionate about sharing the Enneagram with others as a map for heightening one’s personal awareness and experience of fulfillment.
Diana Redmond has been a student and teacher of numerous disciplines including meditation and Kashmir Shaivism. For her the beauty of this ancient system lies in its ability to reveal our illusions,bring infinite compassion to ourselves and others, and connect us to a deeper Wisdom.
People often ask me why self-care is so important. Taking care of ourselves and putting our priorities first often feels selfish. The best way to shift that perspective and look at self-care in a different light is to think about what self-care does for you and what it enables you to do for others. If we do not take care of ourselves and put our own well being first, what will we have left to give others? If we are burnt out and stressed and overloaded, what will be left of us to share? We cannot give away what we don’t have. If we don’t have energy, or time, or even enough love for ourselves, we cannot give energy, or time, or love to others.
Self-care is not a selfish; it actually is the most loving thing we can do for others. By taking care of ourselves, we build up reserves of time, energy, love and other positive things that we can share with others. When we give from an empty cup, we soon will become completely depleted, resentful and perhaps even sick.
This week, do three things just for yourself such as taking a relaxing bath, treating yourself to your favorite meal or spending time doing nothing. Make an appointment with yourself for self-care, write it down, and don’t be late!
“A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.” Spanish proverb
When you track your success it helps keep you on track. Something I have started this year is doing a monthly review. In the past I have always done a yearly review of the successes for that year. When my husband and I sat down this year to look at how 2008 went we had a challenging time remembering WAY back to the first of the year. We came up with a list of things but I am sure there were more. So this year I decided to do the review at the end of the month.
I don’t know about you but I can’t remember what I did yesterday let alone 12 months ago. By keeping track of the success as I go I am able to see what is working, what I might need to change and what I might need to stop altogether. It gives me more of a real picture in real time. After all 12 months from now there isn’t much I can do to change the results, but right now I can.
Before you go any further into February sit down and write your accomplishments for January. Make a list of everything you are proud of, completed or even started. My list included:
Launched 2 DAPP Success Camps
Kept up with Daily Action
Designed Course for University
Spent time with friends
I had several others and a few that were projects that I simply got a start on. Looking at that list made me feel really great! I am encouraged to keep on going and create more success for February!
So get started and make your list! Do it now before you forget.
Here’s to taking action,
Join me for the re-launch of “Live the Day” on Blog Talk Radio. The first show will air at 3:00 p.m. on Monday, February 9th. My special launch guest will be Leslie Gail, author of “Life Simplified.” We will be discussing Leslie’s new book and the steps you can take to simplify your life. You can also call in and ask Leslie questions and get on the spot coaching on simplifying your life. Just go to Blog Talk Radio for all the details and to listen in.
This year I am committed to taking action every day. I didn’t start on Jan first, I had just wrapped up a 90 Day program and took a break. So on the 12th day of the year I started my action program. So far I have managed to do something for twenty six consecutive days, with only 327 days to the end of the year left to go.
I am excited because although I have done the daily action, I have never committed to doing something every single day. I usually do 90 days and then take a week or so off and start back up. This year I won’t be taking breaks. I will just keep repeating the 90 Day Power Process over and over.
One of the most important things about daily action is that you track it. I have special sheets I created for the Daily Action Power Process Success Camp but you can create your own. Just use a notebook or a journal and write your goal(s) down and the steps you will take that day to achieve them. Remember to keep the steps small so that they won’t be overwhelming. Doing a little every day will get you a lot over time.
If you haven’t started on the Daily Action Power Process yet this year don’t worry you have time. Just get started now!
If you need support but want flexibility I will be launching my Virtual Daily Action Power Process Camp on Monday. I will post all the details on Monday on how you can sign up.
Remember, every step you take is one step closer to your goal!
Here’s to taking action,
I make no bones about the fact that I love Starbucks. Interestingly enough I didn’t start drinking coffee until 1995, the year I was laid off from my corporate job. My friend and I both took the “Package” and found ourselves at work for three months without anything to do. Once we notified the company that we would take the voluntary layoff our offices were cleared out and we were left to sit and twiddle our thumbs. We ended up spending hours at Starbucks. My colleague taught me how to order, not such a simple thing at Starbucks, and I was hooked. Been drinking Latte’s ever since. Now I drink Soy Latte’s but that is about all that has changed.
Besides the coffee at Starbucks I also love the cups. Not just any Starbucks cup but the ones that have “The Way I See It” on them. Recently I wrote a Day based on a Starbucks cup. It was #51 in the series and was by Michael Medved, author of Right Turns and radio talk show host. According to Medved “Americans spend an average of 29 hours a week watching television, which means in a typical life span we devote 13 uninterrupted years to our TV sets! The biggest problem with mass media isn’t low quality, it’s high quantity. Cutting down just an hour a day would provide extra years of life, for music and family, exercise and reading, conversation and coffee.”
One of my 100 things I would like to do before I die is be on a Starbucks cup. I have actually made a mock-up of my cup and have it pinned on the wall in front of my desk. It is sort of a mini Prosperity Board. I see “MY” Starbucks cup every day. I have even had people come into my office and be pretty surprised when they see I have been on a Starbucks cup. I tell them it is just a preview of things to come!
Remember if you want something you have to see it and believe it before you can receive it. Whatever it is you want create a visual of it so that you can see it everyday and be inspired by it. The more you see it the more real it will become to you and the more you will believe it can happen.
Here’s to taking action,
If you have ever been on commercial airlines you might remember the flight attendant announces the procedure to use an oxygen mask in an emergency. Put yours on first. Then they suggest helping fellow travelers. That may seem odd since many of us often want to help others before we take care of ourselves, but taking care of ourselves first ensures that we won’t run out of oxygen and thus be unable to help others or ourselves.
It is the same in life. We need to take care of ourselves first so that we can keep up our energy and health. Then we can take care of others. Doing for others at the sacrifice of our own well being isn’t a smart idea. Eventually we run out of energy and run ourselves down to the point where we won’t be able to help anyone including ourselves.
Make a commitment to take care of yourself so you can be of help to others. By taking care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of others for a long time to come. The great news is the better you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of those who matter most to you.
Self-care isn’t selfish it is smart. It ensures that you will be able to do the things you want to do in life, including taking care of others, for a long time. Self-care is about self-love and self-respect. You would never neglect others the way you do yourself. So stop! Put your oxygen mask on and always keep in mind, if you are not taking care of yourself first, you will not be able to take care of others.
Where are you when it comes to self-care? Do you put yourself first in your life? If not what is the price you are paying? If self-care is a problem for you, seek professional support such as a physical fitness trainer, a dietician, or other professionals who can help you put yourself and your well being first.
“If you must trust anyone in life, let it be yourself.” Renee Leaf
“It matters not the number of years in your life. It is the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln
In coaching, we talk a lot about extreme self-care. The theory is that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of others and create a great life. Extreme self-care is about taking care of ourselves in all areas of our lives so that we have the energy and time to do the things we want to do. It is a great theory. However, I have noticed that many people have an easier time practicing the art of Extreme Self-Neglect.
Through life, many of us have received the message that we should come last. That somehow it is selfish to put ourselves first. The truth is taking care of ourselves isn’t an act of selfishness. It is an act of self-love, something many struggle with. For some reason, we think that putting everyone else first shows how much we care. The truth is this is a recipe for burnout. Putting ourselves first is a much better way of showing others how much we care. When we take care of ourselves, we can better manage supporting and caring for others.
How do you know if you are practicing extreme self-neglect? The signs are many, but a few are never having time for yourself, feeling run down and tired most of the time and not being able to remember the last time you did something for yourself. Extreme self-neglect is a guaranteed way to assure that, in the long run, you won’t be able to take care of anyone. Eventually your body will give up and run out of energy.
Think of your body in terms of a car. A car needs regular maintenance. At the very least, it requires fuel. If we allow the car to fall into disrepair, it cannot run at top performance. If we allow the car to run out of fuel, it will simply stop running. It is the same with our bodies. If we don’t perform regular maintenance and provide sufficient fuel, eventually we can count on a decline in performance.
Taking care of our bodies is more than simply feeding and resting from time to time. Our bodies need care in three areas, mind, body and soul. Our minds need to be rested and refreshed. Learning is a great way to refuel our minds and taking mental breaks is a great way to relax our minds. Our bodies need nourishment and exercise along with regular maintenance. Taking care of our souls may look like spending time in nature or bringing more peace into our lives. All three areas of our lives need to be nurtured and cared for. Extreme self-neglect in any of these areas will have a negative effective on all areas.
What area in your life is experiencing a form of extreme self-neglect? What is one thing you can do this week to begin to turn that around? Focus on that one area until you have it where you want it and are regularly practicing extreme self-care.
“Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music.” Diogenes
Somehow many of us have decided that self-care is something that should come last in our lives. Perhaps it has to do with the messages that we received when we were young about not being selfish. Self-care isn’t about being selfish; it is about loving ourselves enough to make our well-being a priority. If contributing to and taking care of others is important to us, then our self-care is vital. If all we do is give and give, eventually we will give out.
Here are some suggestions for making self-care a priority in your life:
Schedule it in. If it is written down or in the palm pilot, the chances are greater that it will happen. Schedule at least one self-care item a week, more if you can. This can be a massage, facial, or just some time alone. By scheduling it in, we are making our self-care and ourselves a priority.
Realize that self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity. The more frazzled and stressed we are, the less we can contribute to the other people and our tasks. Self-care helps us maintain a sense of balance. When we put ourselves first and do what we need to do to stay healthy and vibrant, we have more to give to other people and tasks.
Make self-care a habit. We all have habits. Habits are things we do automatically without much thought. By making self-care a habit, we will do it without much stress or fuss. When self-care becomes a habit, the level of stress will decrease and life will become more balanced as a result.
I was reading an article in a health magazine about a program that was set up for caregivers of family members stricken with Alzheimer’s disease. This program provides relief for the caregiver by scheduling a day off and some much needed rest and relaxation. The statistics for those who care for family members with Alzheimer’s are startling. Often they will become sick and have a high incident of heart attack and stroke because of the stress and demand of caring for their loved one. With just a little reprieve, the caregiver is better able to care for their family member and stay healthy himself or herself.
Self-care is not about being selfish. It is about self-love. The ironic thing about it is the more we love ourselves and take care of ourselves, the more we are able to love and care for others. We cannot give from an empty cup. If all we do is give and give without replenishing our energy supply, we will eventually give out. If we want to be around to take care of the ones we care about, taking care of ourselves is a top priority.
One of my coaches told me that I had mastered the art of self-care. Indeed, I have become very good at it. I believe my mastery is the result of the years I neglected myself and put everyone else first. My experience taught me that doing that just doesn’t work. I have learned the hard way how important it is to put my well-being and myself first.
Take time this week to schedule time for self care. This can be anything you want it to be. Self-care is different for everyone. For some, it might be a round of golf, for others it might be an hour in the library. Whatever it takes to renew and replenish your mind, body and spirit.
“Love as if you liked yourself, and it may happen.” Marge Piercy
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball
“The man who treasures his friends is usually solid gold himself.” Marjorie Holmes
This is the month of love! Although February is usually when we focus on love for others I think it is also a good month to focus on self love and self care. This isn’t about being selfish, far from it. It is about taking care of yourself and loving yourself enough that you have the best of you to offer to others. You will be coming from a place of being happy, content and generous, and what could be better than that?
This month look for post that will put an emphasis on taking great care of you so you can take great care of others.
Here’s to taking action,