I had the best conversation today with my colleague Ralph Marston creator of The Daily Motivator. Some might question why I would consider Ralph a colleague and a friend and not a competitor. After all he does something very similar to me. Actually Ralph is the reason I took my ezine 365 Days of Coaching from free to fee. One of my subscribers emailed me to tell me about someone they knew that was doing what I was doing but charging for it. That someone was Ralph. I checked Ralph out and gave him a call and asked if he would help me transition my ezine to a fee based subscription. Without hesitation Ralph assisted me with the task. That was in 2001. Ever since then I periodically call Ralph just to catch up and see what he is up to. I consider Ralph a mentor. I appreciate that he has accomplished what I would like to. I always learn from Ralph and he is generous in sharing what he knows. I don’t see Ralph as a competitor, I see him as a role model.
Another good friend of mine is someone that might be considered a competitor however I see her as a great collaborator. Alyson Stanfield is the owner of Artbizcoach.com. Alyson does something similar to me however her target market is artist. Alyson is the reason I created a blog. She kept telling me of all the benefits of having a blog and assisted me in getting my blog up and rolling. I have to say I didn’t think much of the idea of having a blog however I am so glad I followed Alyson’s advice. I love blogging now and find it a great way to share my thoughts, ideas and advice with the world in a more casual way than 365 Days of Coaching. Alyson is a great person to have on my team and although what we do is similar, we support each other in growing our businesses.
My dear friend Cookie Tuminello, owner of Success Source, is another great example of turning someone that might be considered a competitor into a co-creator. Cookie and I are both coaches and we do very similar things. However Cookie and I are MasterMind partners and meet regularly to brainstorm ideas for our businesses. Cookie is a long time subscriber of 365 Days of Coaching and I look forward to my Monday Morning Coffee with Cookie ezine every week. We understand the concept that all ships rise with the tide.
In the book The Science of Getting Rich the author Wallace D. Wattles explains, “You must get rid of the thought of competition. You are to create, not to compete for what is already created. You do not have to take anything away from anyone. You do not have to drive sharp bargains. You do not have to cheat or to take advantage. You do not need to let anyone work for you for less that he earns.
You do not have to covet the property of others or to look at it with wishful eyes. No one have anything of which you cannot have the same. And, you can have it without taking what he has away from him.
You are to become a creator, not a competitor.”
When I was in corporate America the concept of competition was fierce. People guarded what they knew and didn’t go out of their way to help one another. It was every person for themselves.
I love what Zig Ziggler says about helping others. He says you can get what you want if you just help enough people get what they want.
Here’s to taking action,
I have had so many requests to do a second Daily Action Power Process
Success Camp that I have decided to start another one in August. The
DAPP Success Camp will start August 5th and run until November 3rd.
This is a great opportunity to kick-start your goals and make sure you
are where you want to be by the end of the year. Don’t wait to sign
up for this Camp as the end of the year is nearing. When the end
comes I want you to be happy with what you accomplished, not wondering
where the time went!
To answer your questions about Camp and how it works, I will have a
preview call so that I can provide an overview of the concepts and
answer any questions. Even if you don’t plan on attending Camp you
will want to come to the call because I will be helping you kick start
your own Daily Action Power Process.
The preview call will be held on Thursday July 31st at 6pm MT (5pm PT,
7pm CT and 8pm ET). The topics we will cover are:
* Why daily action is key to success
* The best time to start
* Why doing a little will get you a lot
* The Secret Weapon to Success
The call will be a fun, interactive, and informative hour. You will
get plenty of great information that will help kick-start your process
as well as a preview of DAPP Camp, what you can expect and time for
Q&A.; If you can’t make it, no worries. I will be recording the call
and will post it so you can listen to it later (or again if you
attended the call). No matter if you decide to attend Camp or not you
won’t want to miss the call. The information will help you create a
strong finish for the end of the year!
Here’s to taking action
DAPP Success Camp Starts August 5th
The campers currently enrolled in the DAPP Success Camp are already telling me this is the most amazing program they have participated in. There have been major breakthroughs and we are just going into our third week. Because so many people have asked me, I have decided to run a second camp starting August 5th. This camp will run through November and meet on Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m. MT. If you missed the opportunity last time or just decided that it is time to get moving on your goals and finish the year strong, this is your chance.
In this fun, interactive, and action oriented Success Camp you will focus on your goals, learn to break them down into bite-sized pieces and take daily action towards your goals. You will receive encouragement, support and a gentle nudge from time to time to stay focused and moving.
In the 90-Day Success Camp (it runs from August 5 until the November 3) you will learn how to:
Set Value Based Goals – Go for what you really want
How to tweak – not retreat
Create Powerful Focus
How to do a little and gain a lot
The power of Accountability
The Secret Weapon of Success
The power of keeping track
How to keep the momentum going
Why rewards are essential to the process
In addition to the weekly group calls, I will have monthly open Coaching times when you can call me directly and receive fifteen minutes of focused coaching. This time will be spent focused on you and helping you move forward and achieve your goals. (This will be done on a first come first served basis.)
You will also have access to me through e-mail. I know that things will come up between coaching calls that you will need support with. Because I want you to get the most out of this Success Camp as possible, I want you to have the support when you need it.
In addition, you will receive two 20-minute scheduled coaching sessions that will allow you private time with me as your coach helping you create the best strategy to achieve your goals.
And you will receive a Camper’s Manual (a workbook on the Daily Action Power Process) that will assist you with staying on track and accountable.
One of the things that I have realized through coaching is that when it comes to change you have to be holistic. Trying to work on one part of your life while the another part is falling apart doesn’t make sense. And actually in my experience it doesn’t work very well. Not that you have to try to change everything all at once, it does help to be mindful that all parts of your life are important and connected. It is great if you are financially doing well but if your relationships, health and spiritual life are in shambles eventually you will pay the price.
In the book The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles , Wattles talks about the importance of minding all areas of your life. Although getting rich is the theme of the book Mr. Wattles takes the concept of being rich to mean more than just money, he also talks about cultivating a life that is rich in relationships, health and spiritual connection. He contends that all areas of ones life needs to be fulfilling in order to be truly rich.
When you decide to make changes in your life pick one area that you would like to work on. Focus on that area until you get it to be the way you like it and then choose the next area. The amazing thing is that as you work on one area at a time other areas will improve – the reason is that what you are doing to improve one area of your life will have a ripple effect on other areas.
Here’s to taking action,
The current issue of Fitness (August 2008) features eight of the Olympic hopefuls. I was very impressed and inspired by the article and the comments of the Olympians. Each woman had a individual view of what it meant to be an athlete. Here are just a few of my favorite insights from the Olympians.
Natalie Coughlin (swimmer) commented that the best advice she received about being a successful athlete was to “Realize that competing is not life or death. Because at the end of the day, it’s a game – it’s suppose to be fun.” If you ask me this is great advice. In the Olympics or life sometimes you can just become too serious. There really isn’t much that is life or death, so lighten up and enjoy more of life.
Shawn Johnson (Gymnastics) Shawn is one of the youngest Olympians. She comments that “Being an athlete is about so much more than physical fitness, it teaches you to stretch your mind and push the limits of what you can achieve.” You don’t have to be an athlete to stretch your mind and push your limits every day. Try new things, don’t be afraid to take risk and go beyond your perceived limits.
Jessica Mendoza (softball) I thought what Jessica had to say was profound. She said, “One thing I’ve learned is that I can’t control how good my competition is going to be.” She then goes on to state that she can only control herself, the amount of work she puts into her game and preparing for the next challenge. That is all any of us can do. You cannot control anyone but yourself. Your biggest competition should always be yourself.
Diana Taura (Basketball) She comments that “I am an emotional player, my coach at UConn told me my emotions would be my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.” Any strength overused will become a weakness.
I would be totally remiss is I didn’t mention Mary Beth Dunnichay. A young (15 years young) synchronized diver is going to the Olympics. She wasn’t featured in the Fitness article but she does hail from my family’s hometown of Elwood Indiana. Elwood is a pretty small town so to have someone make the Olympics is a pretty big thing. My take on this is Mary Beth is a great example of what focus and daily action will get you. She works out six days a week! That is impressive.
Here’s to taking action
This is a review of the speech made at Stanford by Steve Jobs. It is an amazing speech, one I have listened to at least half a dozen times and have a copy of the transcript. He is an amazing person, has created an amazing life, and has an amazing story to tell. Watch the video, it is well worth the time.
I based the July 21st issue of 365 Days of Coaching on this speech.
Steve Jobs is one of my hero’s. His life is an amazing example of how following your curiosity and intuition can create your life. His path was not obvious but he followed it anyway.
I liked how he points out in his speech that by dropping out you can drop into what you need to do. You can’t connect the dots by looking forwards only by looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will connect.
He points out that sometimes the worse thing that can happen to you is often the best thing. By being rejected you can discover something new and go on to be more creative than you might ever knew you could be.
Watch the video. It really will made you realize that life is a process and the only thing you can do sometimes is to keep on going.
Here’s to taking action
For years I have been in a book club. I joined in the late 90′s, took a break for a couple years while working on my Doctorate, and most recently rejoined. The sad part for me is most of the women that were in the club when I first joined are gone. In fact there are only three women from the original group left. I guess that isn’t bad for a group that has been together for 10 years.
Last month the book that was selected was Belle de Jour. The book was difficult to find and the only way I could get the book was on-line. As I began to read the book I was totally shocked. It was pure porn, not anything like our book club would normally read. It was poorly written, no real story line and just pure smut. I was very disappointed in the book, however the agreement in the book club is no matter what you think of the book you finish it.
When I met my friend Jill to car pool to book club I started to express my concern about the types of books we were reading in book club. I started talking about the book and Jill just gave me a funny look. She held up a copy of her book and said, “Is this the book you read.” OMG it wasn’t. I had read the wrong book. There are two books by the same name.
Luckily for me one of the other members of the club read the same book I had read. It actually turned out to be a lively discussion as the original Belle de Jour by Joseph Kessel was based on a similar topic, Prostitution, but was much less graphic than the book I read written by Anonymous. It was a great comparison as to how our society has changed. The original book was written in the 1920′s but was banned from the United States until the 1960′s because of the subject matter (although the original book contained no sex scenes or curse words). The new book is extremely explicit, sex scenes galore and language to make a sailor blush. This anonymous author was and still is a blogger, blogging along on the internet where anyone can read what they are writing. It is a vast difference from the book that was written in the 1920′s considered very racy but without any of the explicits. Times have changed.
Although Marci and I read the wrong book it made for one of the best book clubs we have had in a long time. Yes there was lots of jokes and comments, and also a very in-depth discussion about the changes in the last few decades and if they have all been for the best.
Oddly enough the book we selected for this month also had the same issue. There were two books by the same name. The book we were suppose to read was the Power of the Dog by Thomas Salvage. There is another book by the same name and two of the members read that book. However figured out their mistake before book club and read the correct book. I cannot recommend the book from last month, the correct book club book which I didn’t read (and it wasn’t much liked by the members of the club) or the Porn version I read. However I would highly recommend The Power of the Dog by Thomas Savage. It was an amazingly well written book. Savage writes with such detail I felt like I was right there experiencing each moment. It was by far one of the best books I have read in book club in a long time. You can check out my review of the book on Amazon.
Regardless if you read the right book or not, the good news is your read. So many people don’t – research shows about 80% of American’s haven’t read a book in the last five years. Do yourself a favor and read. Reading opens up so many new experiences and takes you to places you may never be able to physically go.
Here’s to taking action
One of the most important things you can do is make the best of where you are. Not that you have to stay there, however while you are there wouldn’t it just be better to make the best of it until you can move on. In fact by making the best of where you are you will often be offered opportunities that you wouldn’t have received if you were complaining and making the worst of it.
I have been in many situations where it wasn’t the best however by making the most of the situation I was in I was often able to move forward faster. I didn’t waste my energy complaining about where I was, I focused my energy on where I wanted to be.
Often I would notice what people that were where I wanted to be were doing. I would model there behavior. Early on I noticed that people that had degrees were more likely to be promoted over people who did not have a higher education. Instead of complaining about being passed over I enrolled in college and began working on my degree.
The day I wrote for 365 Days of Coaching last Friday was about growing where you are planted and being the best plant, regardless if that is a weed, that you can be. I believe that if you make the best of where you are planted moving on will be much easier. Through making the best of a situation you will learn valuable skills, not the least of which are survival skills. Simply complaining about your lot in life won’t get you where you want to be and often will keep you stuck where you are.
The picture that I put with Fridays 365 Days of Coaching and included in this posting is actually from my garden. This volunteer plant just started growing in my garden. My husband wanted to get rid of it as it looked like an ugly weed when it first appeared. I convinced him to leave it alone. I was curious as to what it would grow into. This plant without any care from me has become a hardy specimen. It simply is making the best of the situation. I counted the flowers on it today and there are 25 blooming flowers with as many buds set to bloom. Wow, now that is what I call growing to your fullest potential right where you are planted.
Are you growing where you are planted?
Here’s to taking action
Many people have forgotten their manners and don’t say thank you when a thank you is required. When someone holds a door open for you, allows you to go ahead of him, or picks up something you dropped, a thank you is in order. However, there is a second part of that equation. When someone says “Thank you” the proper response is “You’re welcome.”
I stopped one of the clerks at my local grocery store and asked where they had moved an item. He quickly told me and I said, “Thank you.”
“Whatever,” he replied.
I was so taken back that I didn’t have the wits about me to stop him and say, “The proper reply is ‘You’re welcome.’” This isn’t the first time I have noticed that people don’t give a thank you proper respect. I have had people say everything from “No worries” to “Not a problem.” I acknowledge the good deed that has been done out of respect. The least the person can do is show me respect and acknowledge my thank you by welcoming it.
Any response other than “You’re welcome” to “Thank you” is rude. If you have to add something, say, “You’re welcome. It was my pleasure” or something along those lines. Telling someone that they are not a problem or you are not worried doesn’t make sense and doesn’t invoke a warm and fuzzy feeling. If that person is a customer, they probably feel that you don’t appreciate their appreciation. Get back into the habit of saying “You’re welcome” when someone thanks you. It will help to create connection and will show appreciation and acceptance for the other person’s gratitude.
What is your response to “Thank you?”
Part of the action process is to set clear goals, create a plan, take the steps and get support. This is the same process I have used for over 12 years. And when people stick with the process it works. Now I have research that backs me up.
In 1998, the ASTD (The American Society for Training and Development) released a study on goal achievement that said:
Of people consciously deciding to SET a goal, 25% achieved that goal.
Of people deciding WHEN they will achieve their goal, 40% achieved that goal.
Of people who planned HOW to achieve their goal, 50% achieved that goal.
Of people who COMMITTED their goal to someone else, 65% achieved that goal.
The first step in any goal process is to decide. The decision is the biggest step. Part of that is to decide what you want. Many people don’t know or they are foggy about it. They say things like “I want a new job.” Well if you got a job at the local grocery store that would be a new job. However for most people that isn’t what they want. You have to be clear so the Universe knows what to deliver to you. Not being clear on what you want is like going into a restaurant and saying, “Oh I just want something to eat.” If all you want is something to eat when the waiter brings you Pig Tails you would be happy right? Wrong. You need to be specific or you will end up with whatever!
The goal needs to have a time line. You need to know “by when.” Without know that it is like saying the same thing as someday. Well someday never comes. Be specific with when you want to have the goal accomplished.
I have a caveat to this. There are times when you simply won’t know how long it will take. Be flexible with the time and be willing to change when you need to. When I first started working on my Doctorate I set a time frame for three years. That quickly became apparent that it wasn’t going to happen in that length of time. So I adjusted my schedule and set goals for having each goal within the larger goal accomplished. I stayed focused on the end goal and took the daily action necessary to achieve it. It took me longer than I had originally thought it would but I didn’t know how much was involved when I first began.
I actually wouldn’t say “plan how” because the how is really none of your business however I would say you need a plan of the steps you need to take, at least the ones to get started. As you take the steps known to you the “How” will be revealed. You achieve your goals one step at a time – and often you only know the next one or two steps to take at any given time.
Commit to someone else you are going to achieve your goal and you are more likely to achieve it. I don’t know why this works I just know that being accountable to someone else makes it more likely that you will achieve what you said you would. Enlist the support of a trusted friend, coach or mentor. Check in with them regularly and report your progress. They will help you stay on track, will point out weak spots you might not see and give you encouragement through the difficult times. I always say that it is just easier to achieve your goals “when two people are rowing the boat.”
The key is to decide, create a time line, make a plan and get support. Do this and you have a greater chance of achieving your goals.
Here’s to taking action