My Advice to Tiger Woods

I truly believe that so much can be avoided if, before taking action, a person would stop and think. I have, also, thought that, in the absence of the ability to think, one needs someone who will think for them; someone that would say, “Don't do it.” I believe I could have saved Tiger Woods money, time and bad PR if I had had just five minutes to talk to him prior to his actions.

My best friend David and I have an agreement. When I get rich and famous, and I am about to do something stupid, he has my permission to say, “Don't do it.” He also has my permission to tell me I am being stupid and that what I am about to do is a bad idea. I believe that many people surround themselves with “yes” people who are unwilling, or perhaps not even able, to tell the truth. Had I had five minutes with Tiger before he married, I would have told him, “Don’t do it.” I wouldn’t have been referring to the girlfriends, but to getting married. Unless he had an agreement to continue dating after getting married, marriage would not be a good idea. Continuing to date after the wedding without such an agreement is not without consequences, as Tiger is now finding out. The truth is all actions have consequences and one needs to stop and think those through before proceeding. In the event you cannot think, you need someone in your inner circle who can think for you and point out the mistake you are about to make.

One of the principles I teach in my ethics class is the Egoism Principle. In the simplest version, the principle determines the moral and ethical value of the decision based on the person's long term best interest. In other words, the principle takes a look at the long term consequences and determines if a person should make a decision based on the outcome. Using this principle helps one determine, based on what could happen, if the decision is one that is in her or his best interest. Had I had a chance to speak with Tiger, I would have had him look five years out and see if he was indeed willing to live with the consequences his actions would cause. Whenever you are looking at a decision you have to ask yourself, “Am I willing to live with the consequences?”

There are a couple other pearls of wisdom I would have offered Tiger. First, don’t have an affair with someone who has less to lose than you. The one with more to lose will lose a lot, and the one with little to nothing to lose gains, like selling the tell-all about the relationship. Another thing is to know the difference between a mistake and a choice. A mistake happens once. A choice is repeated and the only regret is getting caught. The final words of wisdom: When it all comes to an end and everything is out in the open, don’t apologize, don’t try to explain and don’t make excuses. Take responsibility and leave it at that.

There are always consequences to every decision. There is no escaping that truth. Before you make a decision, stop and think it through. If you can’t think, have someone in your inner circle think for you and point out the consequences of what you are about to do. If you decide to go through with the decision at least you gave yourself an opportunity to take a different path, but you are prepared for the worst that can happen.

Take action

Today, make a pack with a close friend that, in the event you are about to do something that is not in your best interest, they have your permission to tell you so. This will save you tons of grief.

Quotes

“You can’t talk your way out of what you’ve behaved yourself into.” Stephen Covey

"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what a reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character." Dr. Wayne Dyer


Are you willing to take responsibility and live with the consequence of your decision?