Live More Fear Less

Live More Fear Less



Fear is a natural part of life. Fear tells us to be cautious, warns of us impending danger and keeps us from harm. As I always say, "Fear is our friend." However, fear can also stop us dead in our tracks and keep us from doing what we desire. The trick with fear is not to get rid of it, which actually is humanly impossible, but to live with less fear.

To live with less fear, we must first learn to discern what is real fear and what is manufactured fear. Real fear is just that, it is real. There is a true danger and we need to pay attention to it. An example of a situation that creates real fear is a speeding car heading right towards us. Real fear creates the flight or fight symptoms. The problem is so does manufactured fear. Manufactured fear is the fear we create within ourselves. Fear such as, "I won't be good enough. They won't like me. I could never pull this off. I will look foolish." and all the other fears that we create within ourselves create the response of flight or fight. To live life fear-less, we must learn the difference between real fear and manufactured fear and respond according.


Real fear is just that. There is an impending danger. Learning to listen to and heed the fear will support us from getting ourselves into major trouble and perhaps prevent bodily harm. Manufactured fear comes from within. Because manufactured fear seems so real, it can be difficult to discern what is real and what is manufactured. When you begin to sense fear, ask yourself where it is coming from. Check to see if it is an outside threat or something that is coming from within you. One of the most important questions to ask is, "What is the worst thing that can happen and can I live with it?"

When you cannot tell the difference between real fear and manufactured fear, ask for support. Talk with a trusted friend, counselor or coach. Often, we are too close to the situation. An impartial third party can provide insight and perspective that we just cannot see ourselves.

Learn to trust yourself. We often know our own answers, if we would only stop and ask the right questions. If you are feeling fear, give yourself time to ask why you are feeling fearful, what is the fear trying to tell you, and what can you learn from the fear? Often, the fear is simply the messenger. It isn't trying to stop us, but warn us. Listening to the fear and heeding the warning will save us lots of time and frustration. Another great trick is to use the "three day rule." If you are trying to make a decision but are feeling fearful, give yourself three days to think it over. If at the end of three days you still feel fearful, listen to and trust yourself.