Extreme Self-Neglect

Greetings:

In coaching, we talk a lot about extreme self-care. The theory is that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of others and create a great life. Extreme self-care is about taking care of ourselves in all areas of our lives so that we have the energy and time to do the things we want to do. It is a great theory. However, I have noticed that many people have an easier time practicing the art of Extreme Self-Neglect.

Through life, many of us have received the message that we should come last. That somehow it is selfish to put ourselves first. The truth is taking care of ourselves isn't an act of selfishness. It is an act of self-love, something many struggle with. For some reason, we think that putting everyone else first shows how much we care. The truth is this is a recipe for burnout. Putting ourselves first is a much better way of showing others how much we care. When we take care of ourselves, we can better manage supporting and caring for others.

How do you know if you are practicing extreme self-neglect? The signs are many, but a few are never having time for yourself, feeling run down and tired most of the time and not being able to remember the last time you did something for yourself. Extreme self-neglect is a guaranteed way to assure that, in the long run, you won't be able to take care of anyone. Eventually your body will give up and run out of energy.

Think of your body in terms of a car. A car needs regular maintenance. At the very least, it requires fuel. If we allow the car to fall into disrepair, it cannot run at top performance. If we allow the car to run out of fuel, it will simply stop running. It is the same with our bodies. If we don't perform regular maintenance and provide sufficient fuel, eventually we can count on a decline in performance.

Taking care of our bodies is more than simply feeding and resting from time to time. Our bodies need care in three areas, mind, body and soul. Our minds need to be rested and refreshed. Learning is a great way to refuel our minds and taking mental breaks is a great way to relax our minds. Our bodies need nourishment and exercise along with regular maintenance. Taking care of our souls may look like spending time in nature or bringing more peace into our lives. All three areas of our lives need to be nurtured and cared for. Extreme self-neglect in any of these areas will have a negative effective on all areas.

What area in your life is experiencing a form of extreme self-neglect? What is one thing you can do this week to begin to turn that around? Focus on that one area until you have it where you want it and are regularly practicing extreme self-care.

Quotes

"Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music." Diogenes