Greetings:

In honor of Cookie Tuminello joining us this week for a great teleseminar on People Pleasing No More I decided to post an article on what do to when doing your best isn't enough. There are times when it doesn't matter what you do, you won't be able to please everyone. The best thing to do is focus on pleasing yourself, and let everyone else figure it out for themselves.

Your Best Might Not Be Good Enough

Doing one's best is always a good policy. But, there will be times when, no matter how hard you try, it will not be good enough. There are people who will not appreciate or acknowledge the best you do.

No matter what I did for one boss it was never good enough. I tried for over a year to please him, and he always found fault with what I did. When others would compliment me he would point out what he didn't like. I finally realized that, no matter how hard I tried, it was never going to be good enough. I transferred out of the department and found a boss that did appreciate me.

It doesn't have to just be your boss that can't be pleased. Friends, spouses and partners can also be challenging people to please. I know that I have been tempted to think that if I just loved this person enough, tried harder and did more they would appreciate me and see how wonderful I am. There are people who, no matter what you do and how well you do it, will never appreciate your effort. Even when you do your best it won't please them and get you the appreciation you deserve. Although it is disappointing, the best thing to do is realize that you are in a losing situation and either stop expecting the person to appreciate you or leave.

Although I haven't read the book, I love the title "He just isn't that into you." Sometimes we like people more than they can or will like us. Also there are people who will just never appreciate what we do. When presented with this type of relationship there are just two choices, let go of needing this person to appreciate you or leave. When I worked for the boss that just wouldn't appreciate me I left and found someone that would. I figured out that it was important to me to be in a relationship with a person - either professional or personal - that acknowledged what I was doing. It drove me crazy trying to make this man realize my worth. Once I understood that it was never going to happen, I was freed to move on and be happy.

If you are doing your best and not being recognized or appreciated for it, you have choices. You can either let go of the need to be appreciated by the other person or you can leave the relationship. That may sound harsh, but if being recognized and appreciated for what you do is important, you need to find others that can do that. You can't love someone enough or work hard enough to make her or him realize how wonderful you are. Let it go. Move on and find others who can support you.

I sure hope I hear you on the call on Tuesday. We are going to have a blast!

If you are a subscriber to 365 Days of Coaching I have great news for you. The teleseminar will be posted in the members only area of the website. If you are not a member now would be a good time to subscribe!

Here's to taking action,

Rachelle