Do You Want to be Quoted on That?
How to keep your mouth shut
if you don't want what you said repeated

by Rachelle Disbennet-Lee, PhD.

Famous people know the importance of being quoted or not, depending on what they are saying. Reporters often ask, “Can I quote you on that?” There are times when being quoted is a good thing. It is nice to know that what you said was important enough for someone to repeat. However, there are definitely times when it isn’t to your advantage to be quoted.

Gossip is one of those times where you may not want someone to quote you. If you wouldn’t say it directly to the person, don’t say it behind his or her back. It just isn’t worth having to deal with someone asking, “Did you say this?” I overheard a conversation between the pianist and the soloist at church. The pianist said, “I heard you told Mary that I didn’t want to play at her party. She said you said ‘blah, blah, blah.’” By the answer the soloist gave, I could tell he was uncomfortable and most likely had said what he was denying. The easiest way to avoid being quoted when you don’t want to be is simple -- don’t say anything you don’t want repeated.

Words said in anger often come back to bite you. You can’t take back what you said, and once said those words can come back to you over and over again. If you don’t want what you said to be used against you, don’t say it. Words said in anger often get quoted again and again. If you feel like you might say something you will regret, walk away instead. Tell the other person you need time to cool down and remove yourself from the situation. Better to chance upsetting the person by leaving than saying something you will have to live with for the rest of the relationship.

You may think that you are saying it once but the chances that you will be quoted are great. Especially if you are saying something you don’t want repeated. If you don’t want to hear your own words repeated back to you and possibly out of context, don’t say them. A good rule to follow is this -- if you wouldn’t want to see your words quoted on the front page of the newspaper, or perhaps in your company newspaper, don’t say them. If you don’t say it, no one can quote you.

Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD provides daily motivation, information and inspiration to thousands of people through her award winning e-zine 365 Days of Coaching.  For a free report, "The Power of Daily Action - How to create more Wealth, Health and Happiness by Tapping Into the Power of Daily Action" go to http://www.365daysofcoaching.com/daily_action.htm 
© Coach Rachelle Disbennett Lee, PhD, 2007