Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Thursday, March 5, 2009


Don't Expect Other People
To Change

One way to set yourself up for disappointment is to expect others to change. People change only when they are ready to change not when you are ready for them to change. People also change when they see the need to change and not when you think they need to change. To expect someone to be different than they are, just because you would like them to be, is a guaranteed recipe for disappointment and frustration.

Acceptance leads to peace, {FIRSTNAME}. Most people are not going to change just because you want them to change. Learning to accept people the way they are leads to peace and an opportunity to appreciate the person for who they are. Acceptance is not always easy, but it does make things easier. If you can get to the place where you allow the other person to be who they are without judgment, you have a better chance to have a meaningful relationship with that person. If you cannot accept the person for who they are, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.


Most of us know how difficult it is to change, so it is amazing that we expect others to change without any compelling reason. It might be nice to think your wanting them to change should be compelling enough to inspire them, but it most assuredly is not. People change when they are ready to change not when you are ready for them to change. Wanting someone to change will lead to frustration and strain in the relationship. You either have to learn to accept the person the way they are or perhaps eliminate the relationship.

Coaching Question

Are you being disappointed by your expectations of others?

Daily Action

Do you expect others to change? Today, practice acceptance and see what difference it makes in your relationships with others.


"Every family has a skeleton in the cupboard." Traditional Proverb

"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." Ashleigh Brilliant

"It has long been my belief that in times of great stress, such as a 4-day vacation, the thin veneer of family wears off almost at once, and we are revealed in our true personalities." Shirley Jackson
Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee


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