Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
People Don't Disappoint; Expectations
I am as guilty as the next person of having expectations
of others and then being disappointed when my expectations are
not met. When we have expectations about others, we are wishing
that those people would perform in the ways we prefer. We are
projecting our values, goals and needs onto someone else. Chances
are others won't, can't or don't want to live up to our expectations.
When that happens, we are usually disappointed. But, it isn't
the person who has disappointed us; it is our own expectations
that have let us down.
Expectations get us into trouble because they are
not realistic or fair. We shouldn't expect others to act the way
we want them to act. Everyone has the right to do what he or she
feels is best for his or her life regardless of whether it meets
with our expectations. Allowing others the freedom to be who they
are is a gift we can give to the people in our lives. Instead
of creating expectations for others, it would be more productive
to turn our focus to our own lives.
Practice letting go of the expectations you have
for others. I have found that doing this has brought great peace
to my life. I am not saying it is always easy, but it is infinitely
better for relationships. When you create expectations for others,
you set the other person up for failure and you set yourself up
for disappointment. Accepting others as they are creates no stress
and allows for a more meaningful and loving connection. When you
don't create expectations for others, you are free to enjoy and
love them for who they are, rather than for who you want them
How are your expectations disappointing
Live the Day
Today, practice letting go of the expectations you
have for others. Notice how freeing it feels to have no expectations.
"A master can tell you what he expects of you.
A teacher, though, awakens your own expectations." Patricia