In a Different Zone

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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Saturday, July 20, 2002
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In a hurry to get to summer school and continue my studies, I forgot to pack an alarm clock. Since I have a pretty good internal alarm clock, I wasn't worried, except for one day when I needed to meet my Dissertation Chair at 6:45 a.m. in the cafeteria. Because I didn't want to be late, I asked my husband to call me at 5:30 a.m. to make sure I was up. He did and, while I was chatting with him, I realized he had called me at 5:30 a.m. his time, which was an hour behind where I was. He had actually called me at 6:30 a.m. my time. I panicked, got ready in record time and rushed out the door.

Luckily, I arrived only two minutes late. My professor was not there so I got my breakfast and sat down to wait for him. At 7:00 a.m., he had not arrived. At 7:15 still no professor and at 7:45 a.m. he still had not arrived. I began to think something was amiss. I went back to the dorm only to find out that our meeting was not for that day, but actually a week later. I called my husband and he started apologizing for making me late, but I told him not to worry I was actually seven days early.

Coaching

This happens so many times in life. We all listen and respond from a different zone. This zone is called our own perspective and experience. My husband called me from the time zone he was in, not the one I was in. And that is how communication is. We respond from who we are and our own experiences and situation. We really can't respond any other way. The trick is to make sure that the other person understands that we are coming from a different space and is clear about what we are communicating.

I went back and re-read the email from my professor. He stated what date he was going to meet me. I simply ignored it because I was in a different zone, the zone of here and now and wanting to get things done. I was dealing from my perspective and I filtered out what was not relevant.

When communicating, we need to be aware that we are communicating from our own perspective and experiences and that it may be different from the person or persons we are speaking with. Take time to clarify and verify that everyone is on the same page. It pays to check in once in awhile and make sure that everyone understands what they think is being said.

Have you had a missed communication lately?

Daily Success Formula

Verifying + Clarifying = Clear Communications

Quotes

"No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding." Plato

"Data is not information, Information is not knowledge, Knowledge is not understanding, Understanding is not wisdom." Cliff Stoll & Gary Schubert

We pass the word around; we ponder how the case is put by different people, we read the poetry; we meditate over the literature; we play the music; we change our minds; we reach an understanding. Society evolves this way, not by shouting each other down, but by the unique capacity of unique, individual human beings to comprehend each other." Lewis Thomas