The Tall Poppy Syndrome

__________________________________________________
Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Friday, July 5, 2002
=============================================

In Australia, there is a concept called, "The Tall Poppy Syndrome." The theory is that the tallest poppies get lopped off so, although it is good to grow, it isn't good to grow too tall. What this translates to is that, although it is okay to be famous, you don't want to be too famous. And you want to be good, but you don't want to be great. It is easy to see this in American culture as well with saying such as "Don't get too big for your britches" and "If you don't watch it your head will get too big for your body."

It seems to be somewhere in the collective thought that we want people to do well, but not too well. After all, if someone does really well, what does that say about those of us who don't? I have personally experienced this. When I have success, I also hear criticism. There is always one person, or more, who has something negative to say about what I am doing or how I am doing it. I noticed this also with friends who have experienced success. The more success they experience the more criticism they receive. We can see this in the media as well. Successful people seem to be the targets of much criticism, down to what they wear and how they comb their hair.

What has helped me to get over this syndrome, both with being criticized and being critical, is to realize that what I do has nothing to do with, nor does it say anything about, someone else. When I have success, it doesn't mean that someone else isn't successful. Occasionally, people can feel bad because they think that when someone else does well it reflects badly on them. For many, it puts a spotlight on what they are not doing. What I realized is that critics have their own issues to work out and it doesn't have anything to do with me. I sometimes will ask, "Can you just be happy for me and leave yourself out of it?" Sometimes people can and sometimes they can't, but at least the question brings about an awareness of what is happening. I ask myself the same question when I am feeling less than happy for someone else's achievement. It can be human nature to feel a twinge of jealousy when someone is having the success we would like to have in our lives. I like to use this as an opportunity to learn and see if there is anything from their success I can incorporate into my own endeavors.

Coaching

I love the quote that it isn't bragging if you have done it. There is nothing wrong with being proud of our accomplishments. A lot of hard work goes into each accomplishment and goal that we achieve. We need to nurture our successes and use them as fertilizer to grow as tall as we can.

Are you afraid of being a tall poppy?

Daily Success Formula

Success + Acknowledgement + Acceptance = Being a Tall Poppy

Quotes

"Critics! Those cutthroat bandits in the paths of fame." Robert Burns

"Fame has also this great drawback, that if we pursue it we must direct our lives in such a way as to please the fancy of men, avoiding what they dislike and seeking what is pleasing to them." Benedict Spinoza

"Fame is the penalty of success. Jealousy is the penalty of fame." Sivananda

"If you have no critics you likely have no successes." Malcolm Forbes