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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Saturday, May 11, 2002
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No Excuses

Often when we don't want to do something we make an excuse. We call in sick to work when we are not, or tell a friend that we have a sick family member if we don't want to go to a party, or any other excuse that we can think of. It takes a lot of time and energy to think up an excuse. For some reason, instead of simply telling the truth, we feel it is better to come up with something that isn't true. Creating an excuse makes us feel better and spares us the repercussions that we might face from the person who is receiving the excuse.

I had a situation where I had a lunch date with an associate. On the day of the appointment, I truly didn't want to go. I just was not in the mood. I began to think of things I could tell my colleague when I realized I really didn't have to tell him anything. I could simply reschedule the appointment. I called and did just that. He didn't ask me for a reason and I didn't give him one. What I discovered is I didn't need an excuse. I simply needed to let him know I wasn't going to be there and set a different date. I was relieved that I didn't have to fake anything and when I see my colleague, I will be in a better frame of mind. Not to mention I won't have to remember what excuse I used.

Excuses are simply lies we give ourselves permission to use. I have asked people why they just didn't tell the truth and their responses are always something like, "I didn't want to hurt their feelings." I wonder how the person will feel when they find out that it was just an excuse and not the truth? And after a while, excuses wear thin. Most people don't even want to be bothered. I once had a friend who broke more nights out with me than she kept. I gave her the nickname of the "optioneer." If a better option came along she would take it, then give me some excuse as to why she couldn't keep her date with me. After awhile, I simply stopped making plans with her and moved on.

Coaching

What excuse are you using to get out of doing what you don't want to do? Next time you start to use an excuse ask yourself why you are not simply telling the truth. What is holding you back from being honest with other people? What are you afraid of?

Excuses are simply lies we give ourselves permission to use. Try telling the truth or saying nothing instead of coming up with an excuse. I find that many times it is simply best to say nothing as to try to use an excuse.

If you find yourself calling in sick to work when you really are not sick, ask yourself why this is happening? There is something much bigger going on and you might want to look into that.

What excuse are you using to get out of telling the truth?

Daily Success Formula

Excuse = Permission to lie

Quotes

"Don't look for excuses to lose. Look for excuses to win." Chi Chi Rodriguez

"Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure." Don Wilder

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." Benjamin Franklin