Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Friday, May 3, 2002


Return the Steak

When we are eating out at restaurants, it is important that we get the food we want prepared the way we want it. I was having dinner with a friend who ordered a steak medium well. When the steak arrived at the table, it looked like it could have walked there by itself. Instead of returning the steak, my friend kept it but complained about it during the entire dinner. I tried to get her to return it, but she refused. I finally had to ask her, "Where else in your life are you playing the victim?"

Anytime we don't stand up for ourselves, but complain instead, we are playing the part of the victim. We pretend that something is being done to us, instead of looking at it from the perspective that we made the choice to allow it to happen. When we ask for something and we do not get it, we have choices. Our choices can be to return it, negotiate it, or even walk away from it. None of the choices may be ones that we like. That is fine. Not liking the choices does not mean we do not have them. When we come from the perspective of making a choice, we are empowered. Empowerment is not based on what happens to us, it is based on how we handle what happens to us. The choices that we make about our circumstances are what are empowering. No one can empower us. Empowerment comes from within.


When we don't get what we have asked for, we have choices. Accepting it is a choice. But, if we choose that, we have to be ready to accept the consequences that making that choice brings. Accepting the consequences of our choices leads to freedom. When we come from the perspective of choice, we are empowered. There is nothing worse than feeling like a victim. And when we are in victim mode we give away our personal power.

Stand up for yourself and ask for what you want. This isn't about being rude or pushy, it is about taking control of your life. If you don't take control of your life, trust me, others will. And chances are it won't be the way you want it to be. Claim your personal power and stand up for yourself. You are worth it.

Where in your life are you giving your personal power away?

Daily Success Formula

Making choices + Accepting consequences + Being aware = Personal empowerment + Freedom


"The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and that this humiliation is seen by everyone." Milan Kundera

"Every choice carries a consequence. For better or worse, each choice is the unavoidable consequence of its predecessor. There are not exceptions. If you can accept that a bad choice carries the seed of its own punishment, why not accept the fact that a good choice yields desirable fruit?" Gary Ryan Blair

Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee


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