Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Friday, May 3, 2002
When we are eating out at restaurants, it is important
that we get the food we want prepared the way we want it.
I was having dinner with a friend who ordered a steak medium
well. When the steak arrived at the table, it looked like
it could have walked there by itself. Instead of returning
the steak, my friend kept it but complained about it during
the entire dinner. I tried to get her to return it, but
she refused. I finally had to ask her, "Where else
in your life are you playing the victim?"
Anytime we don't stand up for ourselves, but complain instead,
we are playing the part of the victim. We pretend that something
is being done to us, instead of looking at it from the perspective
that we made the choice to allow it to happen. When we ask
for something and we do not get it, we have choices. Our
choices can be to return it, negotiate it, or even walk
away from it. None of the choices may be ones that we like.
That is fine. Not liking the choices does not mean we do
not have them. When we come from the perspective of making
a choice, we are empowered. Empowerment is not based on
what happens to us, it is based on how we handle what happens
to us. The choices that we make about our circumstances
are what are empowering. No one can empower us. Empowerment
comes from within.
When we don't get what we have asked for, we have choices.
Accepting it is a choice. But, if we choose that, we have
to be ready to accept the consequences that making that
choice brings. Accepting the consequences of our choices
leads to freedom. When we come from the perspective of choice,
we are empowered. There is nothing worse than feeling like
a victim. And when we are in victim mode we give away our
Stand up for yourself and ask for what you want. This isn't
about being rude or pushy, it is about taking control of
your life. If you don't take control of your life, trust
me, others will. And chances are it won't be the way you
want it to be. Claim your personal power and stand up for
yourself. You are worth it.
Where in your life are you giving your personal power away?
Making choices + Accepting
consequences + Being aware = Personal empowerment + Freedom
"The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of
ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we
must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and
that this humiliation is seen by everyone." Milan Kundera
"Every choice carries a consequence. For better or
worse, each choice is the unavoidable consequence of its
predecessor. There are not exceptions. If you can accept
that a bad choice carries the seed of its own punishment,
why not accept the fact that a good choice yields desirable
fruit?" Gary Ryan Blair