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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Sunday, February 3, 2002
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One
of the best ways to learn about someone is to listen to
what they say about you. If someone tells you that you
are not trustworthy, or not a good communicator, or that
you are difficult to get along with, listen to her. This
person is giving you an insight into who they are. As
my grandmother often said, "It takes one to know
one." Often what happens is that they are projecting
onto you traits they also possess.
The
best examples of this show up in the politics. A politician
will accuse another one of doing something and, sure enough,
it is later revealed that the accuser is guilty of the
same thing. Be aware of anyone who criticizes you. They
are telling you what they are doing. Also, the louder
and more fiercely they accuse you the guiltier they are.
Listen to them.
At
times, people will intentionally throw up a smokescreen
to try and avoid being found out. This is most easily
done by redirecting attention to someone else. People
will give you all the clues you need if you pay attention.
Don't get caught up in the drama and be diverted from
seeking the cause. Ask questions and communicate clearly.
Part of what happens when people are trying to avoid being
caught is to put the pressure on you (redirecting attention
away from them and onto you). They may also belittle you
as the one who is nuts, doesn't understand, or is clueless.
Don't let them get you wrapped up in their deception.
Coaching
I
once had a friend who accused me of all sorts of things.
I would get defensive and caught up in her drama. After
a while, I began to see a pattern to what she was doing.
When I disconnected myself from the drama, I could see
that what she was accusing me of was what she was doing.
People
will often tell you all you need to know about them if
you listen carefully. When someone comes at you with accusations,
make sure you discern whether it is really your issue
or theirs.
Are
there people in your life trying to tell you something
about them?
Daily
Success Formula
Accusations
= Telling about one's own behavior
Quotes
"The
search for someone to blame is always successful."
Robert Half
"When
you point your finger at someone else, three more point
back at you."
Unknown
"People
in glass houses should not cast stones." Unknown
