Creating A Judgment-Free Zone

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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Friday, January 25, 2002
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When we judge others we separate ourselves from them. Judging doesn't allow us to create a relationship because it builds a wall between the people we are judging and ourselves. Judgment is limiting because we are judging the other person based on who we are not on who they are.

One of my goals for this year is to create a judgment free zone around me. What that means is I simply notice things but don't judge them. I will just say, "Interesting."

It isn't easy to get out of judgment of others. We are constantly observing and comparing what other people are doing. We look at them and see how they match up with what we are like. If there is congruence, we judge them to be fine because they are like us. If there is variation that makes them different, then we judge them based on that difference. Depending on how different they are from us is how much we will judge them. A little judgment or a big judgment is still a judgment and it keeps us from experiencing that person based on who they are. We are too busy comparing how they aren't like us to see what they really are like.

Coaching

Getting out of judgment provides several positive outcomes. It saves a lot of energy. It takes a lot to be in judgment of others. When we release the judgment we free up our energy which means we can use it on more positive things.

Getting out of judgment also allows us the opportunity to appreciate the differences of others and what those differences can teach us. When we are judging others we cannot appreciate or learn from them.

To start the process of releasing judgment, and it is a process, simply begin to notice when you are judging others. You can stop yourself and simply go on to something else. I have been working on this process for years and, although better than ever, I still have a ways to go. Be patient with yourself and know that releasing judgment isn't going to happen over night.

Where were you in judgment of someone today?

Daily Success Formula

Judgment = Limiting relationship

Quotes

"Make no judgments where you have no compassion." Anne McCaffrey

"Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own." Chinese proverb

"I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much time. Rudyard Kipling