Don't Follow Politeness
With Rudeness

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Published by Rachelle Disbennett-Lee
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
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As I was walking into the bookstore, a woman came out of the door I was about to enter. She then held the door for me and I walked through. My mind was somewhere else and I didn't even think to say thank you. As I walked through the door she said in a very loud rude voice, "Well you are certainly welcomed." I immediately said thank you as I should have in the first place and went on my way. As I walked through the bookstore, I couldn't help having this uncomfortable feeling that quickly turned to anger. I started thinking of a sharp reply I could have retorted. I could feel myself getting into a very bad mood.

Then I stopped myself and analyzed what was happening. I was angry partly with myself for being unconscious and not noticing a favor that was done for me. I was also angry with the women for having an expectation and then being angry with me because it was not met.

I stopped my negative self-talk and decided to figure out what I could learn from the situation. The first thing I learned was to pay attention and stay in the present moment. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I was not aware of what was going on around me. I also learned that I did not want to do nice things for people with an expectation attached to it. I learned that being attached to the outcome could lead to disappointment and resentment. And I relearned not to take anything personally. The fact that the woman was angry didn't have anything to do with me. It was about her.

Coaching

Every situation can have a lesson for us if we look for it. I could have let this event ruin my day or maybe even several days. However, I made a choice to look for the positive in it and see how I could learn and grow from it. I had to take responsibility for my part in the incident and forgive the other women and myself for what took place. After thinking the situation through, I felt better and was able to go about my day feeling good and that was the feeling I was able to pass along. If I would have carried that resentment and bitterness with me, I could have had a totally different day and so could the people around me.

What happens to us is not always under our control. How we respond is. In addition, if we don't respond well the first time, we can choose to learn and let go of the negative energy.

What is interesting is that events happen to us once, but we then relive them in our minds repeatedly spending our precious energy on what we cannot change. Choose to respond differently. Instead of rehashing the event repeatedly in your mind, simply review what happened, learn the lesson, and let it go. Life is too short to spend your energy on what has happened. Save it for the events that are taking place now!

What lesson can you learn from what appears to be a negative event in your life? Are you ready to learn and let go?

Daily Success Formula

Learning + Letting Go = Moving Forward

Quotes

"Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite." Jean Kerr

"Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, more often, by immediate chastisement." Ernest Dimnet